Tags
Domestic violence.
The term seems rather subdued for what actually happens. The reality is that one person physically beats up another person. There is physical violence against another human being. There are other forms of abuse – emotional, mental, etc. But today I’m focusing on physical abuse.
A person beating up another person. Let that sink in.
Often its men doing the violence to women – women who are close to the men. These are wives, girlfriends, daughters, etc.
Often the men are alcoholics or abusers of other drugs. Often the people have been in some kind of relationship for a long time and the abuse and violence has taken place over a period of time.
And the women stay. That’s always the part that doesn’t make sense to most people. Why would someone stay in an abusive situation?
For some, it is shame – what would people think if they knew what was happening? For others it is protection of people or things – what will happen to another loved one or something cherished if they leave? For others it is feeling trapped – where will they go. They have no one to turn to.
If someone opens up and tells you they have been hit, beaten, injured on purpose, or abused by someone close to them – be present for that person. Often they won’t want to call the police. Another option is Domestic Violence Services – or some equivalent in your community. Do a google search – I’m willing to bet there is something like this in your area. They can talk with someone who is trained, and should be able to get the person to some kind of emergency shelter to get out of the abusive situation.
Domestic violence happens for a number of reasons – all complex. It’s a combination of a thirst for control over another human being – mostly from people who have little control over their own lives. It comes from alcohol and drug abuse. It comes from people who are jerks and worse. It is the epitome of broken and sinfulness.
And it shouldn’t ever be tolerated. No one deserves to be beaten or abused. At the very least, establish communication with someone who is being abused if they won’t accept help. You may be their only link to safety and sanity. Use it to keep urging the person out of the abusive situation. Be their advocate. Show them that you care about them. Domestic violence happens way too often. It shouldn’t.
Matthew, there is another reason that women stay with abusers–religious conviction. Many are taught that the marriage bond is sacred and must be preserved and that it is the wife’s responsibility. But in my opinion abuse has already violated the marriage bond.
Church leaders often call for wives to forgive and try harder to make their husbands happy. I agree that husbands should be forgiven, but that forgiveness should often be accompanied by a legal restraining order.
I agree with you that perhaps the one thing abused women need most is a listener and advocate.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thanks for the addition. Proves the point that these are complicated matters and messy. And some times theology is more destructive than helpful – especially bad theology. Bad theology is any theology that diminishes the humanity of people in my opinion. We aren’t called to be slaves, but rather part of God’s family.
LikeLiked by 2 people
so sad for those who are the victims lacking the strength to cut the cord and get out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, but when you look from their perspective it makes sense. Fear is a huge factor and not easily overcome.
LikeLike