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Last week I asked several questions about the state of faith and politics. Overall the comments from people who answered were that there was concern about how to have difficult conversations with people who didn’t seem interested in talking. How do you do that? Often it feels as though you are talking with a wall.
I’ve had many encounters with such people over the years – mostly from my years in politics, but occasionally it still happens. The short answer is – there isn’t much you can do. The very essence of conversation is that you have two people who have mutual respect for each other, who are open to listening to each other, and are open to being persuaded by one another. When someone is more like a robot in that there is no room for any change whatsoever, that isn’t much you can do. In a sense it is as if this type of person has put themselves in a prison and thrown away the key. Or maybe a better analogy is that they cover their eyes and ears with their hands and scream so that no one can get to them. It’s the idea that if I cover my eyes, then I can’t see you and so you aren’t really there. Of course, that same person isn’t willing to see reality either though.
When a person isn’t willing to see or hear the realities of things around them, then they are locked into their own perspective as if it is the only perspective that exists. And unfortunately, they lose out on seeing the fuller picture. The sad truth is that there isn’t much you can do with someone like this.
So the question is, what is a follower of Christ to do? God offers an invitation to all. Yet there are many who refuse this invitation – they want life on their own terms and without God.
And we believe that God is a God of love. So God does the loving thing and honors this. God grants this person exactly what they want – life without God. God loves us so much that God would allow us to separate ourselves from God – or rather push God away. You see, Hell isn’t a place where God torments people. Rather, Hell is a place of self-torment – a place with people who insist they can do better without God. And they suffer the consequences of that.
When Jesus sends out the disciples in twos, he tells them to wipe the dust from their feet from towns and people who reject them. And so should we. Wipe the dust from our feet, symbolically, from people who refuse to engage, to talk, to see, to hear. Wipe the dust from our feet from people who reject being open to any conversation, or consideration. They have made their choice – a choice of self-torment. That doesn’t mean we stop loving these people – we continue to do that. We continue to pray for them also. God always offers grace, forgiveness, love, peace, and mercy. And as a follower of Jesus, we are called to offer those things too. Because without God, and God’s mercy, we end up with karma – the idea that you get what you deserve. But God’s mercy is different – you get what you don’t deserve. People who are completely closed to conversation have attached themselves to the idea of karma. And the best way to handle these folks, is to let them have their karma, continue to offer grace, and to move on with life until such a time that there is an openness.
This post is entirely pertinent to me. (Not a surprise to you, I am sure.) And so I clicked here hoping to find insight that will bring peace to me and to creation. I mean, just by the title, I was excited that there would be relief for me in this.
And so here I am absorbing your offering now. And I have a couple questions.
Do I have this straight? -> 1.Go to the ones I am sent to and proclaim the message I am sent with. 2. If the message is received, then it all works out, we have peace. But if not, then dust off my feet and leave. 3. After leaving, continue to pray for those to whom I was sent and hope and wait for God’s mercy to bring about the peace I should have found in point 1, but didn’t.
Is that right?
And so I have a few subsequent questions after that.
What if my message is wrong? What if I think I speak for God? Because here’s the thing: if I do speak for God bearing the message he sends me with, then I don’t have the right to change it, and thus there will be no compromise on my part (or else I am being unfaithful), thus my mind is closed off to compromise and changes. But what if I am mistaken and act faithfully to a mistaken message instead of what God really says? Then aren’t I being the stone wall? But if its possible for me to be so fundamentally mistaken, then should I be worried about my message and start second guessing myself just to safeguard this problem? Shouldn’t I be super humble? Maybe even wishy washy just to avoid being stubbornly uncompromising?
Can you see how this descends into chaos? How do I handle that?
I have another question too, but it comes from a different direction. What does “dusting off my feet” mean? And how is it a “testimony against them”? Do I literally kick dust off my feet in front of people who refuse to receive me/my message? And will they get the point if I do? Or will they just be happy to see that I went away and no longer bother them with my message?
Do you have any clarifying thoughts for these questions?
Thanx
X
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X, great questions. These are things I struggle with myself and have since my days in politics. I think it’s perfectly normal to question ourselves like this. I’d be worried if we didn’t. I find these questions act as a way to keep us humble. To me, I just go back to Jesus’ model. He sends out the disciples with minimal stuff and knowledge about the kingdom and he essentially tells them that there is going to be rejection of the invitation to participate in the unfolding of the Kingdom. We are aren’t to fight or drag people in kicking and screaming. We are to invite, always. And if the invitation is rejected, then so be it. In sales, it’s the idea that some will, some won’t, so what, who’s next. I think Jesus used this model and told the disciples to follow it so they wouldn’t get caught up in fights, or what we currently see – all the back and forth on social media. Share the message, and work with people who accept the invitation. Move on from those who don’t Nothing you are going to say will change their minds. It’s not about being stubborn. Or cold and calculated. Or being uncompromising. It’s not about getting all the doctrine right. It’s about an invitation to a way of life that is different from what the world offers. I am confident in what I proclaim. At the same time, I am open to hearing people. I need to hear people – what are they actually hearing from me. Is if a message of love, grace, and mercy? Or is it a message of follow me or else? The first one is the right message. The other one isn’t.
As for what it means to dust off my feet, well, I think there are lots of ways to do that. The biggest thing is that this isn’t about confrontation or getting back at someone. It’s loving them enough to let them go their own way. It’s not about getting in people’s faces or doing anything symbolically. It’s about literally moving on from that person, wishing them well, and holding them in prayer or rather lifting them up in prayer to God and moving on to people who hear the invitation and respond to it. When it doubt follow Jesus’ method.
I know this answer won’t be totally satisfying, and won’t bring full clarity. But life is like that.
Jesus’ way is a way of peace and mercy. He certaintly had confrontation too. Yet, this was with a different group of people than who he made the invitation to. I think of the biblical stories of Jesus inviting the rich young ruler to follow him and the other would be disciples to follow him. They all had excuses. He didn’t chase after them. He let them go. His dealing with the Temple authorities was different – I think partly because he was dealing with different power dynamics. They should have known better because they were supposedly experts in the law.
This isn’t easy by any means. Hang in there X. You are not alone.
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