Tis the season for some really terrible music. Why is it that terrible music becomes acceptable this time of year? It’s like the musical version of the ugly sweater. I just don’t get it.
Here’s my list of top five picks for terrible Christmas songs (and an honorable mention):
5. “Baby it’s cold outside.” It’s like attempted date rape put to a catchy tune. Terrible message.
4. “Christmas Shoes.” Seriously? You are going to buy shoes for your mom while she is dying? Spend time with her and forget the presents.
3. “Last Christmas.” Oy. Really has nothing to do with Christmas. This is one of those songs that gets stuck in your head and makes you want to be the mom in the Christmas Shoes song to make it end.
2. “Mary did you know?” Bad theology. Read Luke 1 to hear from Mary herself what she knew. Anything else she didn’t know was unimportant.
and the #1 most terrible Christmas song is:
“Do they know it’s Christmas?” Yes, they know. They have calendars, they had them in 1984. Not only that, but the Ethiopian Orthodox church has existed for something like 1500 year, so yes, they know. Here are some other dandy lines from this terrible song that drive me crazy – “There’ll be no snow in Africa this Christmas.” No crap, Most of Africa is in the southern hemisphere, which means it’s summer there. Summer=no snow. And the worst line of all – “Tonight be glad it’s them instead of you.” Do I even need to comment about this? AAAAHHHHH!
Here’s my honorable mention – “The 12 days of Christmas.” The only reason this song doesn’t make the official list is that it has one redeeming characteristic – it reminds the listener that Christmas is an actual season, not just one day. A whole season. And not from right after Halloween on. No, it starts on Dec. 25 and goes through Jan. 5.
So there’s my official list of terrible Christmas songs. What songs make your list of terrible Christmas music? Share them in the comment section.
Laced up Lutheran 
My boyfriend commented that “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” is terrible, so I listened to it again and realized I agree, lol. Kinda obnoxious instrumental.
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That one doesn’t bother me as much. Maybe because it’s just not on the same level of terribleness as the other ones.
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Dude!
Did you just blow a fuse???
I don’t know most of these songs. Think I am glad for it. Thanx for warning me.
I will say this… Several years ago, I was working in the psych unit on Christmas Eve. In those days, we had a smoker’s patio, but smoke breaks were scheduled 6 times throughout the day. As you can imagine, the smokers would line up waiting at each break time – esp. the last one of the day.
So its Christmas Eve, 8pm, freezing cold and snowing outside on the patio, and we all gather round to smoke the last stogie of the night. And there is this one lady, a patient who is extremely bashful and clingy. She has been clinging to me all day at every chance she sees me, but it’s my turn to watch the smokers at the patio to make sure they don’t stray off from the facility into the cold winter night. And this lady doesn’t want me out of her sight even though she doesn’t smoke. So she follows us out.
All these psych patients, the smokers esp, are a cool crowd. This clingy lady is not part of the cool crowd. But she is there shivering next to me. Suddenly she asks if she can sing a Christmas song. I said, Sure! And gathered all the smokers around to listen.
The bashful clingy lady in her terribly soft voice suddenly lets out the angel’s voice singing O Holy Night. She TOOK US THERE! The smokers on that patio, locked up in the mental ward, missing family and all the holiday festivities suddenly went to that manger and found Jesus in that shy lady’s song. She say the high notes flawlessly, like heaven itself opened up and let us join the Angel choir for just five minutes. She gave us the best Christmas gift we could imagine, and would have been a star on TV if only we could have been there instead.
But of course, that, for all its amazing possibilities, is not where Jesus is. No. We joined Jesus in a barn at the manger like lowly shepherds invited to the REAL party.
I will never forget it. And now O Holy Night is my favorite Christmas song.
https://fatbeggars.wordpress.com/2015/12/18/the-gospel-of-lord-caesar-vs-the-gospel-of-lord-jesus/
Happy Holidays,
X
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That’s awesome. And I would disagree. Christmas isn’t supposed to be about taking us back to some nostalgic barn with Jesus – It is Jesus becoming incarnate in our midst, especially in the crappy situations of life, in the places the world doesn’t like to talk about. God is always coming to us, over and over again – where we are. God loves us just that. Jesus did come to you at the psych ward through the voice of one of God’s children. That’s why I say an encounter with Jesus changes people’s lives. Sounds like it changed yours.
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Yes. It was awesome. Thanx for saying that.
Sorry you disagree with it, though. That’s too bad. But yes. It was awesome.
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That’s an awesome story!
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I hate Baby, It’s Cold Outside. With a passion. But Christmas Shoes?? It’s such a well-meaning song. Most of us don’t go looking for tear jerkers though, of course. I like the classics the best: O Holy Night, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, Silent Night, etc. Thanks for a good laugh, I enjoyed your commentary.
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Thanks for reading and the comments. I like your selection of music too.
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