I’ve had arrhythmia for years. Arrhythmia is an irregular heartbeat – it is actually pretty common and comes out in many different ways. For me, when I experience my arrhythmia, it feels like my heart skips a beat or flutters. I’ve usually experienced this for a day or two once a year. It’s a bit disconcerting to be able to feel you heart beating and then not beating like normal – waiting for it to kick on again.
Recently I encountered what I thought was my yearly episode with arrhythmia. Only this time it lasted longer – about five days. Then it went away. And then it came back. It disrupted my sleep. It gave me anxiety. It caused me to think about last moments. So I went to the doctor. My doctor listened to my symptoms and decided that I had acid reflux (go figure) and hooked me up with a heart monitor. No stress test needed since I put myself through a stress test at the gym every time I run – according to the doctor. He had an EKG run on me and he also told me I have a very healthy heart – which was reassuring and had a calming effect on me.
The heart monitor is small and taped right to my chest. You wouldn’t know it is there unless I told you. I am to wear it for a total of two weeks.
The heart monitor will record my heart beats and rhythm. I can click a button on the monitor whenever I feel an irregular heartbeat and then record the time and what I was doing in a journal. Fortunately, I’ve had several instances to record. I say fortunately because then there is something for the doctor to look at.
The heart monitor has me thinking about several things as a result of constantly wearing it and paying attention to my heart.
I’ve been thinking about Jesus monitoring my heart. What would he be monitoring? I imagine it would be something more than just tracking heart beat and rhythm.
Would Jesus’ heart monitor be measuring my attitude and practice of stewardship? Would his monitor be measuring how I loved people – neighbor and enemy? Would Jesus’ heart monitor measure my prayer life? How about my discipleship? Or maybe measure how I get into God’s word?
What would Jesus’ heart monitor be for our church? For our nation? What would Jesus measure for these?
I wonder, what events would we be recording in our journal? What would cause an irregular heartbeat that we notice? Would the irregular heartbeats be associated with conflict in our churches and world? Would they come when a shooting happened? Would we notice an irregular heartbeat when the planet was experiencing some kind of destruction – like the fires in the Amazon? Would we feel our collective heart skip a beat for the rise of fear and anger and tribalism that exists around the world?
I’m wearing a heart monitor. I’m listening to my heart. I do this because I was scared into it and it was disrupting my normal patterns of living.
I wonder what it will take for the world to take notice of it’s heart, for disciples to pay attention and to act. I wonder…